i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize