No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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