But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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