I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
