You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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