Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
