Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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