when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
