She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
