Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
