Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She announced her abortion via fbk
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
