when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
