Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
