she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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