the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
