Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
