I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize