Got a toothbrush?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
