Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
