i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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