O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dick very happy bro
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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