There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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