you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize