You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
