I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
