hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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