god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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