she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
