honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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