I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he fucked my hip out of place.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
