I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
