you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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