some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
your room smells of hookers.
And success
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize