Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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