we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
