I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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