WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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