I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
