i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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