Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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