There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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