I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
