yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just got carded by a ten year old.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
