I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
