Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
