Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
