Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
