After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
