I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
