Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
