Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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