I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
