we're blogging at a bar
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
