hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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