and you said cock pushups were impossible
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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