Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
