You can't motorboat a personality
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize