he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
