She is in my trunk
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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