you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
