if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
