I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
