I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
