So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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