god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
