We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
