READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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