Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
