what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
