You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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