addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
