After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
