so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
